!dadjokes@lemmy.world
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Update 2025-9-11: If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they would understand, you should probably post it to the this community: !unclejokes@lemmy.world. Please message me if you think it could be different.
But he told me he’s herd them all before …
Had to tell my dog he was adopted.
I realized then maybe I used a little to much dirt.
She asked if I’d eat yesterday’s leftovers. I said yes.
I knew she was Tolkien in her sleep
ASAP’s Fables
the most remarkable.
he said for the hallabit
They tried to fix the server.
Because seeing is bee leaving.
He’s an eightheist….
There’s been a lot on my plate lately…
I said “No way!” So I tossed in another quarter. I’ll reach in for 50 cents.
I asked for 120/80 blood pressure
It was a full house.
It’s my signature joke.
They haven’t caught me yet, but the thyme is cumin.
So I turned it into wine
cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/66701198
The genie replied, “Weurd wush… but U wull grant ut.”
Take out …
I’ll circle back later
But connect the dots is where I draw the line.
… it’s enticing!
“It’s hard to keep track! "
Stephen
They’re a product I can stand behind
Sign language
Woman on ground: “How long will the ambulance be?”
A tinnnnn hutttttt!
And that they are the centaur of my universe…
It was quite the ore-deal!
It comes with ALDI king’s horses and ALDI king’s men.
Because even when they have no lives left they still have nein!
It’s the best thing for a hot dog.
Waah-Waaah !!!!!
Stationary!
“Guess it’s time to water-ma-lawn.”
Police think it was poachers
One bean more, and it’ll be too farty.
But I was told it’s forbidden
It didn’t wok
Because he couldn’t log on!
You don’t. You get down from a duck.
Please add more. Feel free to add yordor.
I saw it coming from a kilometer away!
cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/65943659
“Okay, I’ll come back then”
-Syu ramen
They’re through the roof!
But I had an onion ring once.
Knock knock.
no one’s heard them before.
I said “No, a regular one”
Unfortunately I must confess that it’s true …
I’m after you now.
But John came fifth, and received a toaster.
cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46848864
Now she won’t play Scrabble with me
Hospice
I have only my shelf to blame
Local votes are a bit more private.
Default mode: public.
Kuchenstück vom Ranslite
loopy
64bithero
The Picard Maneuver
Tug
RegularJoe
Admiral Patrick
nexguy
slothrop
gigastasio
gedaliyah
Hatshepsut
𝕾𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖞 𝕿𝖚𝖓𝖆
qualia
FenrirIII
Susaga
𝜯𝐞𝐡 𝜝𝐚𝐦𝐬𝐤𝐢
Iced Raktajino